Consumed by exhaustion, I laid on my couch and drifted until the barking of my hundred pound dog stirred me. I was empty of energy and it was only due to a 3 hour band practice (and 4 beers). How did I used to play an hour and a half set jumping an moving mindlessly then drinking for hours after? Oh wait I was seven years younger. Now the question is, how will I be able to keep up with my kid that will never slow down unless to sleep or recharge as I like to think about it?
I have to face the fact that I am feeling old because of my laziness. I don’t work as hard as I should or at least I am no longer pushing myself. Thus, I feel an age, not necessarily my own, but not one of youth. I will have to exercise, I will have to skip the luxurious long sleep, and I will have to get off my couch. Alright, so I may have to work into it a little, but I only have 32 weeks left, if I’m lucky. Help me Jebus.
As I laid in bed after being awaken by wife’s crazy pregnant dreams (vivid alternate realities that no one warned us about) I began to drift momentarily when my dogs decided my rest was impertinent to functionality. After letting them wander around the backyard for a few at 3:23am I was again lying in bed. This time I struggled with a nagging cold that is not quite to Dante’s Infernal Cold proportion. Finally after being awake for two and a half hours I began to think that this must be what it will be like when we have our kid. Preparation for years of broken restless sleep. Sleep began to be apparently void from my grasp as my mind began to wonder about the future of parenthood.
As I thought about my sleepless nights to come, I though about the teenage years. A dread fell upon me like a black shroud. I know it’s a little dramatic, but if our kid is anything like I was …. Let me not divulge. It did grow apparent that my sleepless night would push into my child’s teenage years as well. And then it happened, I realized I would be in my Forties. I know it simple math, but to think about the fact that I would going through my mid-life crisis in turn as my offspring would be facing the fact that their life was to take a giant leap into pre-adulthood was boggling. Face it the teenage years were a moment when childhood was severed, but the ability to be anything was dangled ever so out of reach. Essentially a wonderful time to rebel and screw off without immediate consequences. Oh but they will come at you in adulthood. So I am considering the notion of beginning my mid-life crisis now for the sanity of my wife during the teenage years. Being a negotiator to two of me in a world of confusion cannot be easy.
Filed under: My Kid
As most already know, fatherhood is nodding at me like a lawyer at my trial. I just hope I’ve kept up on the retainer. Regardless, I am excited, ready, and oh so stupid like every other parent who thought the same thing. What I have learned from parents, children, and working with after school programs is that there is no way to ever be ready to be a parent or be the best one. I am convinced I will screw up something, but I hope that this is a hand grenades and horse shoes scenario. Here is to effort.
Filed under: Music
And when you wonder why I put this George Harrison video of Got My Mind Set On You, all I have to say is becasue I can. So enjoy and don’t ask silly questions.
