There seem to be points where one merely drifts through points in life without the overwhelming anxiety and obsession to care. Then there are stimuli that prod this wonderful blind and numb bliss into a complete state of confusion.
Now I admit I am annoying my bliss, but the most heinous stimulant is gaining on me. In one sense it has already begun to rattle me. The holidays. Yes that horrible time of glee and appreciation. It is completely despicable. How can I continue on my steady lull with the joy and lights and SNOW!!! Stop me before I start on the evocations of this frosty precipitation.
Simply stated, I will eventually succumb to the pressures and anxiety of the holiday cheer, but I only hope to eke out my sanity. Please advise on solutions.
So often the somewhat cliche list of things you wished you had done or seen before the unfortunate end sweeps about your face. You know death…
I wonder what happened to the list of accomplishment. I do not think credit is given to some things at this point in the juncture. There are moments everyone should reflect upon, though briefly because living in the past is a nuisance in a fluxing river called existence. So here it is… I don’t have an accurate grasp on this, but if I were to throw down a list on the fly:
1. The day of my wedding, and being fully cognizant of the stunning woman beside me through the whole day.
2. Being able to say “I love you” to my mother after the turbulent teenage years.
3. Standing upon a small mountain after a free climb/hike with my brother looking over the continental divide (despite my fear of heights).
4. Playing guitar and singing on stage for 4 years with a band (2 formation) that was focused and whole.
5. Having the priviledge to have 3 dogs that are companions of the soul.
Filed under: Humor
I feel like a fish on a rainy day, and I forgot my umbrella. Yes it may be futile, but it is reality. Reality, that sweet kick in the crotch warranted for optimism and good natured folk. A dying breed among the suckling catfish and cackling crows. A devouring group that salivates from the bits of soured fleshy sincerity. A stench that is to foul for the beautiful surroundings of ripened anger and resentment.
Wish I had some galoshes.
Filed under: Humor
For the sake of humanity and sanity, please donate all you can to Mel Brooks’s cause. For more info visit The Onion. Make the world a better place.
On a side note, I must protest that the sad state of innumerable oafs do make the world smile, but is always worth it.
Filed under: What Happened
Once again I am completely disappointed by the police in my small Metropolis out here in the Midwest. As I started to make my 2 mile run yesterday, the screech of an off-guard motorist and the bang of his err were but a hundred feet away. As I got closer the “victim” was yelling and cursing at an obviously injured driver. Finally someone asked if he was alright (Ibelieve a passing motorist who got out to help. As this man was told to stay in his car the traffic was backing up and people were itching to go. At any moment I felt like another accident would result. So, I took it upon myself to direct traffic.
It was at about 12th car back that police car came up, looked at the injured motorist and drove away. AWAY! Did not stop to help an injured driver, get a citizen that was directing traffic out of the road, or attend to a possible situation from the accident itself. Drove away.
Approximately 4 minutes later an ambulance arrived with a Firetruck behind. At this point I thought someone who was qualified and paid to serve and protect the citizens of its city could take over traffic duty. As I left no one did. It wasn’t until the Police arrived a minute later that someone directed traffic. Now I will admit that the Fire Dept and EMT’s did assist to those involved in the accident, but it amazes me that no one will look at the big picture and lend a hand.
Once again, don’t get hurt or need assistance from another human being because most of them won’t see the bigger picture unless the TV tells them.
Filed under: Work
A time for something prolific. A need for something new. Yet, I come back to the same mind-numbing frustration and conundrum: I am underpaid. Yes, I have said it before and continue to post it.
It seems so easy for the human mind to become completely obsessed and consumed by a situation. A point when the sole problem that aggravates to no end cannot be surrendered. However, in many cases it would seem that there is the moment of confrontation. Something must be said or done to clear the mind.
I am underpaid and yet I have made little effort for the confrontation. So here is to the new winds to wherever they may guide me. The value of a multi-functioning mind is priceless.
It has come to the point where I have realized irrational fears and at the same moment I am dealing with insurmountable frustration. In one instant I am within my own yin and yang.
An insignificant ant is the recipient of a solar laser beam shot upon by a large and immature child. The reality that at any moment a large foot can come out of the sky and completely squash you. Or in my personal irrational fear, being stopped under a bridge with traffic moving above, thinking at any moment it could all come down and I would have no chance to react. I realize everyone has that moment of helplessness, but mine seems to always overwhelm in a specific situation. It is not that I freak out and run across the road, but my mind is uncontrollably questioning the ratio of gravity with my reaction time. Regardless, I am an insignificant ant that could be swept away in the sudden wash of a storm.
Now to my second sad realization of my place with my employer. As you may have read previously I was in limbo for a raise in my salary. Alas, I was given resolution that matched the salary exactly of a completely “green” laborer for this company (it is union wage, but for first year none the less). Perhaps the biggest issue is not that I have been here for a year and a half, or that I continue to work diligently, but that I have a great deal of responsibility. Ten times more than some kid who picks up trash on site. The frustration of learning how much I am valued along with a slightly trapped feeling is beginning to overwhelm. I am flooded and being flooded simultaneously. It is hard to tell what will happen when the levee breaks…
